When is enough, enough?

How do you know when a relationship is over? When all of your efforts and work are useless, the relationship is over love isn’t enough any more. For example Nina and her man are between a rock and a hard place. She wants him to respect and appreciate her and he wants to but he dosen’t know how. Hes been in jail so long he dosen’t know how to have a relationship. So, the real question is what do you do when your in love but you realize its not enough to save what you have and that the past cannot carry the future? And how would you know when you’re there?

RIght now im in a confused place. Im with this guy that I can’t seem to let go of. He dosen’t know how to have a real relationship and I allow that because I can’t leave him alone. Its something about the way he smiles and laughs and the way he dosen’t give in to everything I say like every other guy I know. Maybe im just lonely, I don’t think so because I have people in my life. Maybe Im just not content with myself or maybe I am just infatuated.

 

 

 

 

No hope for me

I’ve been thinking about love lately. And I started thinking about what examples of love I have in my life. I realized that I really don’t have any at all. My mother and father got divorced and I don’t believe he ever loved her and she is capable of loving. Both of my grandmothers husbands cheated on her constantly and so did her last boyfriend. My cousin Denisa who I live with at the moment has never had a healthy relationship. So really how much hope is there for me? Im walking into relationships with mo idea what they are supposed to be like. Now I can blame my family for cheating on my boyfriend Saturday, right? No, I didn’t think so. He sucks as a boyfriend anyways, I let my loneliness get the best of me when I started with him.

Love is…

My last blog had me thinking, What is love really? I couldn’t think of an answer so I asked the people I know. These descriptions are from every type of person, there is a seven year old, teenagers, adults, the elderly, every race i could find and a good mix of genders. So this is the publics opinion on it:

LOVE IS:

Dictionary:

Love: to regard with affection; to like; to delight in; to be in love; to be tenderly attached – (n) warm affection; fond attachment; the passion between the sexes; the objest beloved; a word of endearment.

“people caring deeply about each other. passion. honesty.”

“when you feel somebody is your everything. when youre willing to compromise and make sacrifices for a person.”

“a very strong emotional attachment toward another person.”

“not an emotion, it is a commitment to someones flaws.”

“sacrificial. Making sacrifices is part of loving. learning to put yiur pride aside to get along. being willing to put up with a persons flaws.”

“trust. wanting. undescribable.”

“about the possibility of the thing.”

“the divine untiy of two hearts and two souls. the distinct comprimimsing of two individuals that have very unknown differences that they incorporate into a relationship that betters each one.”

“something that someone feels for the opposite sex.  patient. peaceful. something that you can’t define. so profound .  hard. scary. cruel.”

“undefinable.”

“true friendship. someone who will tell you whats right even if you don’t want to hear it.”

“a friendly warm smile after a long hard day even though you may not want to.”

“when u stop hearing that voice telling you he’s not the right one.”

“a trick. a game. a joker. when you feel a connection with someone that you’ve never felt before you think your in love but it snot true its just feelings.”

So in all this I’ve ralized what I really think love is:

being in a state of awe about a person. like damn I can’t believe after all this shit we wen’t through, after the nasty breath in the morning, after me hating you more than anything else, I couldn’t do without turning over and seeing your face when I up in the morning.”

So what?  Well, Love I guess it is determined by the person. I think everyone will agree to that. All that I hope even though it seems like no one agrees on what it is is that one day I get to feel it.  

The Speaking of a word

the speaking of a word can be a powerful thing, like when someone says LOVE or HATE. i was thinking about this last night when I was watching the BAD GIRLS CLUB which is the funniest show on this planet ( i didn’t know that there were six people that dumb and immature living, wow are they serious i mean get a grip on your life girls). I was thinking, why do those two words effect people so much? Like LOVE, I mean what does it mean?  Why do people want to hear it so much but find it so hard to say to others? Why do people not like to hear HATE but say it so easily? I don’t know, to me LOVE is caring for someone to the end of your abilities and HATE is loathing someone so much that you wish they died. People have told me they loved me but that just goes back to my blog yesterday. They said it because it was what I wanted to hear and because men lie and cheat regularly and without remorse. People have also said they hate me, my mother told me she hated me, so I guess she wishes I’d die. I don’t know you just gotta watch what you say, Shit you might say I love you and gain a stalker and you might say I hate you and gain a seiral killer. Its a risk Im not willing to take.